well I can't set my house on fire every night
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
