i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
