You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
