You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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