You're completely useless in the revolution.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
