So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
