first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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