I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
