My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
