Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize