Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize