omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
