"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
