i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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