last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
