Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
