What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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