4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
