So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
