just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
