I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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