They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize