Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize