dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
