I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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