david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Pooping to opera.
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