Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
