I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
