hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
