Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
