If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
