did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize