epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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