Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
