he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I intend to get homeless drunk
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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