You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
