We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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