Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
