Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
