Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
