you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
