If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
