I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
