We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
