Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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