You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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