Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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