woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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