wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
