..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
