Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
