I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
