Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
