I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Less talking, more tequila
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
