His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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