Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
