those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my being single is dangerous.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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