I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize