? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
