The best revenge is premature balding
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
