I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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