I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
