chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
