now i know why i became what i already was.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize