OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
