I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We left an ass print on the piano.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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